Many of us do not know what to say or do when a family member or friend passes.  There seems to be an awkward search for something profound to come to mind, that we can say or do.  And more often than not, those comforting words or gestures that we come up with, just don't seem to convey what we are feeling. Either the gesture seems too small, the sentiment weak or the memory too trivial.

However,...there is a saying that goes..."It's the little things that count," and I truly believe that those are the things that we should share.  Those little things that were said, the little things that were done, the little things that we hold on to and cherish, because it is the sum of all these little things that make up our memories.  Those are the things we remember about someone, and the things that made them how we saw them, and how we related to them. It's how they will be remembered. Relationships are a makeup of all the little interactions made over time, and they are very individual and unique to each relationship, and so therefore also is our sorrow as well.

(Rather profound don't you think!  :)

My relationship with my Uncle Dave was made up of far too few little moments.  I did not get to know my Uncle as well as I would have liked to.  You always think that there is more time.  Memories that I do have though are centered around Neufeld family gatherings, at the farm, at funerals, at family reunions.  The reunion I remember in particular, happened around 1980, at Aunty Gert and Uncle Hank's farm.  I would have been 19.  I loved getting together with relatives and there was so many of them.  I quite often felt sorry for myself because I did not live as close  as they all did to each other.  So I made the most of it when I got to visit.  That was the first time I actually got to know my cousins Sheri and Wendy.  I remember thinking how great it was that they had a family band and would go on tour.  I thought they were awesome at being able to perform in public because knew something of what that was like as I played piano, and I knew what it took to be able to play in public.

The next time I saw Uncle Dave and Aunt Caroline was in Calgary in about 1985.  I was moving to Vancouver, and my Mother Ann joined me on the trip as far as Calgary, where we stopped and visited for the night.

So my time with my Uncle was brief, but I did pick up on some "little things."  I did see that he was a very soft spoken, gentle and caring man, that loved his family and his God.  He didn't seem like the type of guy that would get overly worked up over something, but would probably bend over backwards to help someone. Someone you could count on.

I would encourage anyone with a story...no matter how little or trivial it seems, to share it with all of us that are grieving.  It's the "little things" that you can do that can help someone else through a difficult time.

To Uncle Dave's family and friends, my prayers are with you.

Rest in Peace my Uncle,

Your Niece, Carla